Mastering the Present

The Struggle to Remain Present

It seems to be human nature to cling to the past. Replaying mistakes, dwelling on failures, and rehashing painful moments are familiar negatives that feel oddly comforting because we’ve already lived them. Ruminating on past experiences can serve as a way to cope or disassociate from the anxiety or depression you may be feeling in the present. On the other hand, the future feels uncertain and distant, leaving us stuck in a cycle of what was rather than what is. Our minds tend to ping-pong between the past and future, never truly settling in the now.

Signs You've Lost the Present Moment

Signs that you’re missing the present moment can be subtle but powerful: rushing through tasks, feeling anxious or impatient, or zoning out mid-conversation. You nod along but only catch fragments of what’s being said, distracted by thoughts of the past or future. It’s easy to lose appreciation for the here and now, especially when your mind insists there are “better” or “more important” things to be doing.

I often find myself missing what’s happening in the present because my mind wanders to the past. It’s only when I intentionally align my mind with my body that I can fully embrace and appreciate what’s unfolding around me. There are many things I love to do and places I enjoy visiting, but sometimes the simplest moments bring the greatest joy. For example, sitting in the passenger seat while my husband drives our children, windows down, music blaring, and all four of them singing and dancing along to the radio fills me with so much joy that I often tear up. Yet, there have been times I’ve missed these moments because I was on my phone or lost in thought.

Too often, we forfeit joyful moments by being mentally somewhere else—places we have no business being. Our minds dwell on what cannot be changed: worries, anxieties, or others' opinions that don’t concern us. This mental wandering drains happiness, like a vampire sucking the life out of our most precious moments. One day, you wake up wondering where the time went, with only faint memories of years gone by. Life was happening all along, but instead of truly living, you were coasting on autopilot, absent from the moments that mattered.

Consequences of Letting the Past Dictate the Future

The truth is, the present moment holds the key to your future victories. What you do now will shape your future. When we allow past experiences to dictate how we approach the present, we sabotage ourselves. A negative association from the past can stop us from trying something new—or trying again after a previous failed attempt. Stephen offers this example: if you’ve had a bad experience with an ice bath, you might decide it’s not for you without giving it another chance. The same applies to a diet you tried and abandoned, a role or position you were given, or a gift or talent you gave up on after feeling defeated. These negative shadows from the past continue to shape your future, limiting your growth and success.

Biblically, Hosea 4:6 warns, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” God, as the ultimate architect of life, offers wisdom for living in the present. But when we reject His guidance and rely only on outdated experiences, we miss out on the fullness of life He intended. Like Moses, who let past failures interfere with God’s promises for his future, we risk losing what is meant for us if we don’t learn to stay present. This is the essence of Deuteronomy 6:4, "Shema Israel..." The Hebrew word shema means to hear and obey—actively, in the moment. We must learn to listen for God’s voice daily, allowing Him to guide our steps so we can inherit the promises He has for our future.

Accountability

The episode also highlights the importance of accountability. An accountability partner helps you stay grounded, keeps your mind from wandering, and realigns your actions when you’re tempted to drift. It’s not just about having someone to keep you in check—it’s about surrounding yourself with people committed to helping you grow. King David had Nathan the prophet to hold him accountable; without him, David might have remained blind to his own faults. We all need someone who can speak truth into our lives, especially when we’re distracted or misaligned.

However, it’s essential to have an accountability partner who doesn’t share the same kryptonite. You want someone who can strengthen you in your areas of weakness, rather than being prone to the same struggles.

Prayer, Meditation, and Slowing Down

Finally, the episode touches on prayer and meditation as training grounds for mastering the present moment. These practices encourage you to slow down, clear your mind, and focus on the now. If you struggle to stay present during prayer or meditation without your mind wandering, it’s a sign that you need more practice in controlling your thoughts rather than letting them control you. It’s a “wax-on, wax-off” process—the more you do it, the better you become, and the stronger your mind grows.

The world moves fast enough as it is. Give yourself permission to stop rushing through life and slow down to enjoy the moments you have.

Key Takeaway

In the end, retraining your mind to stay in the present is a powerful tool. Fully immersing yourself in the moment cultivates awareness and focus, allowing you to embrace the present so fully that you can’t see anything else. This level of focus and vision can transform not just your today, but your tomorrow. After all, the better you live in the now, the better your future will be.

Don’t let your past rob you of your future. Cultivate the discipline of living fully in the present, and watch how it leads to victory in every area of your life.

What does it truly mean to live in the now? In Episode 39 of Something Has to Change, Stephen, the host of Contemporary Speaks, takes a deep dive into embracing the power of the present moment. He uncovers why it’s so challenging yet so rewarding. The idea of “living in the now” is often romanticized, but in practice, it can be uncomfortable and even frightening. Why? Because living fully in the present requires facing a version of yourself that you may have never encountered.

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