Navigating Life: The Power of Everyday Decisions

The Nature of Decisions

A decision is the conclusion or resolution reached after consideration. Every decision you make is influenced by emotions, reason, biases, values, beliefs, or memories. Decisions encompass your life as the driving force that determines the direction in which you will journey. There are many statistics on decision-making. One statistic suggests that the average adult spends approximately two hours a day deliberating over the 35,000 conscious decisions they will make on any given day. It is also suggests that majority of these decisions are not made logically, but intuitively, with heavy reliance on gut feelings.

You Decide

The various decisions made daily include everything from where you will set your phone down to whether or not you will buy a house or change careers. What time you go to bed and wake up, what you will eat, drink, or wear: these are all choices you will make and act upon each day. With each decision, small or large, something or someone in your life will be impacted. The bigger the decision, the larger the impact. Whether you have acted on something after careful consideration, or moved impulsively, each decision will produce a beneficial result or dreadful consequence and will ultimately determine the path of your future.

You are the sole decision-maker of your life, that is if you're an adult. Children obviously are not making as many of their own decisions given the parents are guiding and directing most of their day. Their biggest decision each day is whether or not to obey their parent. We, as adults, or "big children," have the same choice to make when deciding whether or not to obey our Father and His instruction. Yeshua says in Luke 8:18, "Pay attention, therefore, to how you listen." At the end of the day, we must ask ourselves who we're listening to when making choices, how well we're listening, and if we're satisfied with our decision-making skills.

You are the product of your choices. You are becoming who you decide to become based on what you choose. The real point to ponder is whether or not you like who've you become. Are you honest enough to admit to yourself that you've made some bad choices in your life? Can you admit that you've been foolish, selfish, unforgiving, bitter, or simply immature? If you can be honest with yourself about who you truly are, then you can take the first step towards change by deciding to become someone different. You can decide to be kinder, more forgiving, compassionate, selfless, and wise. Become empowered by your ability to improve your decision-making skills through evaluating your values of self, others, and the world around you.

Value Yourself

Understanding your values is the first step in making good decisions. It's important to recognize how your self-worth can impact your choices. Caring for yourself is not self-indulgent. Rather, caring for yourself is developing a love for the body and mind God has given you. If you value yourself: your life, your health, your cognition, and your goals, you will prioritize your well-being and make choices that align with these values. A self-awareness of how you feel, why you feel, and when you feel will foster clarity and confidence and enable you to navigate the storms of life with resilience.

Valuing yourself can be difficult, especially when you are holding on to the sins you've already been forgiven for and the traumas of your past. Low self-esteem and poor coping skills are common, yet damaging and will keep you stuck in a sinking boat with one paddle, tirelessly and endlessly rowing yourself in circles. If you're suffering from low self-esteem and inability to let go of guilt or blaming yourself or others, take a look back at Episodes 12, 13, and 14 for tips on how to love yourself, end negative thoughts, overcome your past, and get back up.

Being Trustworthy

You can strengthen your decision-making skills and foster stronger relationships and community bonds by appreciating the perspectives and needs of others. The value you place in your relationships will impact the decisions you make concerning the environment of those around you. Being trustworthy in your relationships begins with valuing yourself. If you can't trust yourself, how can others trust you? Stephen speaks specifically in terms of being a friend that one can confide in. We are great at keeping our own business to ourselves, but what about the business of others?

"Loose lips sink ships." This American English idiom originated on propaganda posters during World War II to warn the citizens of the dangers of unguarded talk. Though this phrase has been spoken for years and years, the Bible said the same long before WWII propaganda. The book of Proverbs makes multiple mentions of the dangers of gossip and talebearing throughout its chapters, particularly chapters eleven and twenty. Again, if we're being honest with ourselves, we can admit that we've shared the secrets that have been entrusted to us with someone else we consider a private, trustworthy source. We do it so often and so mindlessly that we spread someone else's business before we even realize that we're spreading their business.

Being trustworthy is being self-aware. Self-awareness is not just being aware that you feel some type of way, but being aware of why you feel that way. It's the ability to recognize the moment you began to feel off and the ability to identify the cause behind the shift in your emotions. Have you been aware of what you're sharing with other people? Are you a trustworthy friend that someone can confide in without the worry of you sharing their secrets with someone else? I can personally look back at my own decisions in my relationships and recall multiple occasions where I've said more to someone than I should have. If there's anything major that I need to change from this podcast, it's to learn to keep quiet and resist the urge to spill the tea.

Stephen addresses another issue in this topic of trustworthiness, manipulation. He uses the example of being married and having a private conversation with a friend. As a spouse, are you then obligated to share the details of that conversation with your husband or wife? What happens if you choose to keep the details strictly between the two who initially conversed? One spouse can then become offended, feeling betrayed and unloved because you don't trust them with the information. This is a form of manipulation. It is present not only in marital relationships, but in all forms of relationships. To make someone else feel guilty for not sharing what someone has confided in them with you is grounds for toxic relationships. We could all probably take a hint without offense from the elementary saying, "This is an "A" and "B" conversation, so "C" your way out."

Something Has to Change

The "something" that has to change is never with the world, but always with us. Imagine if each person in the world took the time to change their ways and improve their practices. Overall, the world would essentially be changed, but change always starts with you. If anything is to be taken from this episode, it is the three rules to making good decisions. Get advice. Think it through. Learn from your mistakes.

Take a step back and analyze where you are in life. Is your boat sinking? Is it barely staying afloat? Or are you smooth-sailing right along to optimal health and wellness? Whatever boat you're in, it's important to take responsibility for the decisions you've made and understand that you put yourself there. The good news is, and there's always good news by the way, you don't have to stay where you are now. If things haven't been working for you, change it up. Do something different. Do what works for you.

Remember that with each decision you make, something is hanging in the balance. To say "yes" to something is to say "no" to something else and vice versa. Take the time this week to carefully consider your values and think through your decisions. Call on the Helper to guide you when you're unsure in which direction you need to go, and keep your boat moving forward by continuing to row.

Major Takeaway: When making a decision, remember that something is always hanging in the balance.

Choices. Decisions. Change. From the very first episode of Something Has to Change, the host of Contemporary Speaks, Stephen, has made it abundantly clear that choice is our greatest super power and the sole component that leads to lasting change. Though the topic of free-will is much debated, there is no doubt that each of us have arrived at this current moment based on the decisions we've made thus far.

Whether you're happy, healthy, and thriving, or sick, tired, and depressed, the harsh reality is that your choices have designed and etched the boat that is your life. While some are strong enough to make it through the harshest of storms, others are on the threshold of sinking. Getting yourself in the right boat starts with the decisions the you make. In this episode, Stephen discusses the importance of value and trustworthiness and how these two principles can greatly affect your everyday decision-making.

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