Why? Where? How?

Something Has to Change: Episode 18

Meggan Stephens

4/10/20245 min read

low light stage microphone photography
low light stage microphone photography

Trapped by Beliefs

When one is trapped by their beliefs, it becomes a hindrance in their ability to access spiritual, mental, or physical transformation. The beliefs Stephen is referencing are not necessarily that of the Bible, but the beliefs we hold of ourselves and the beliefs we hold about life. He addresses a specific belief that one may hold of being saved, yet still accepting a life flooded with misery and depression. This is not necessarily a truth, but more-so a paradigm that life is going to bring lingering sorrow regardless of salvation, new friends, careers, adventures, or opportunities. Even the very idea of being saved and going to Heaven is not enough for this person to grab hold of the joy each new day has to offer.

It is common knowledge that Jesus died for our sins. Yet, Jesus Himself says this is not the only reason He came. This opening topic of episode 18 offers a new perspective on the words of Jesus in John 10:10. Although different translations vary, the context is very similar. According to the Messiah's words in the CEB translation, He came so that we may have life, and live life to the fullest. We may often think He is referring only to everlasting life, yet He is speaking of life here in the earth as well.

Living life to the fullest leaves little room for misery and despair, especially when we are living our lives in the presence of God. Psalm 16:11 ESV speaks of the fullness of joy available to us in His presence. We must look for the Word of God to be active in our lives. If joy is promised to us, why don't we believe it is attainable? Why have we allowed our beliefs to entrap us?


The reason you may be in bondage to your beliefs is due to programming. Essentially, you believe what you believe based on how your mind has been programmed. Stephen explains this as the reasoning why someone born in India may practice Hinduism while someone born in the United States is more likely to practice Christianity. Sometimes your beliefs can be handed to you by the society around you. Once programmed, it becomes very difficult to reprogram, however, not impossible. Because the subconscious mind heavily impacts your physical, mental, and spiritual well-being, it is important to question the beliefs you hold.

Questioning Your Beliefs

When evaluating why you are the way you are, the things you believe to be true about yourself, you must understand that every action you take originates from your beliefs. Your beliefs will determine what you do. Have you built a belief system that traps you from experiencing growth spiritually, mentally, or physically? If you've programmed your mind to think negatively, it's likely you have built a negative belief in your capabilities, which may leave you feeling depressed rather than victorious. Analyze your beliefs by asking yourself, "Why do I believe what I believe? Where did this belief come from? How does this belief make me feel?"

Subconscious Objections

Our subconscious beliefs have the ability to hold us back from change. Though we can make our mouths say anything, the actions will result from the views we hold internally. You may have a desire to eat healthier, to lose weight, to spend more time reading, or even to start a new hobby. However, your subconscious may object to that change, therefore hindering you from achieving the results you seek. We don't realize it, but the body has to obey the beliefs one holds.

I was recently gathering some information on weight loss. One particular program posed the question, "Do you believe you can achieve your weight loss goal?" I found it interesting as typically most programs go straight to demanding you to count macros and steps. The question aligned perfectly with everything that has been discussed previously in the Something Has to Change series, more specifically the quote, "You are only worthy of what you can believe." In the simplest of tasks, if you have no belief that you can achieve your goals, you will never see success, but instead remain stuck. Stephen encourages the listener to discover their own subconscious objections in order to put an end to the self-sabotage that inevitably follows each objection.

Stephen references the subconscious objections of Moses in Exodus 4:10. In this text, God is calling Moses to go and speak, yet Moses reluctantly responds with a reason why he is unqualified. This is due to the belief Moses holds of himself. The God of the universe hand-picked Moses for this very task, knowing full-well the capabilities Moses possessed, yet Moses' belief of who he was was misplaced. Even more so, Moses was reluctant to leave the place in which he thought he belonged.

3 Basic Needs

The objections of the subconscious are directly related to the three basic needs of every human: to feel loved, to feel safe, and to have a place to belong. We surround ourselves with people who fulfill these needs. However, making necessary changes to better our lives can sometimes pull us from our circles causing feelings of rejection, loneliness, and even abandonment. These negative emotions can then lead us to self-sabotage. We will find ourselves abandoning all the progress we've made in order to stay in the good graces of those whom we feel we belong. This is an important factor when considering your circle of friends.

Breaking Codependency

Codependency is defined as an imbalanced relationship where one person enables another person’s self-destructive behavior such as addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement. A codependent person is described as one having high self-sacrifice and a focus on other’s needs. They tend to suppress their own emotions and attempt to control or fix other people’s problems. Someone who is codependent is the enabler, not the one being enabled.

This breakdown of codependency has helped me to realize that up until now, I have had no clue of the actual definition. Not only that, it has opened my eyes to the fact that I personally deal with codependency. Over the last couple of years, I've found myself to be very concerned with how people view me. I've often burned myself in attempts to pull someone else out of a fire and suppressed the way it made me feel afterwards. It's unsettling to come to the realization that you're the one with the problem. However, there is a peace and a joy that comes with knowing what your problem is, and that it can be fixed. Stephen lists several signs of codependency to help the listener identify it within themselves. He also gives three helpful tips to break it.

Life is seemingly filled to the brim with hard-to-solve issues, and Contemporary Speaks has set out to address as many as possible. In the continuing series of Something Has to Change, the host, Stephen, explores the depth of the subconscious mind in such a way as to help one uncover and identify the root of their underlying, psychological troubles. Not only does he help to put a name to the face of the problem, he also offers sound biblical advice on how to triumphantly overcome it. The goal of Episode 18 is not just to provide the listener with an abundance of information, but to encourage transformation.

7 Signs of Codependency:
  1. Low self-esteem

  2. No or very poor boundaries

  3. People-pleasing personality

  4. A need to control situations

  5. A lack of communication/ A lack of clear communication

  6. A constant state of denial

  7. Constant reassurance seeking

3 Tips to Break Codependency:
  1. Be honest.

  2. Don't support what is unhealthy.

  3. Refuse to be an accomplice.

3 Takeaways:
  1. Reshape your beliefs to align with God.

  2. Redirect your subconscious objections to align with what is best for you.

  3. Strengthen your self-esteem by breaking your codependency.

Something Has to Change

The "something" that has to change is the belief one holds in the depths of the subconscious mind. Beliefs create thoughts. Thoughts create feelings. Feelings create behavior. Behavior creates results. This understanding seems so simple, yet so deep. Our lives not only follow in the direction of our thoughts, but in the direction of our belief system. With that being said, Stephen leaves us with three takeaways to not just reflect and meditate on, but to put into action throughout our week.

Want to dive deeper?

Watch the full episode